Every single parent strives to be the best possible aren’t that they can be. But what makes a good parent isn’t the actions that you are taking, it is the intention that you have also. No parent is perfect just like there is no perfect child. Dealing with a troubled child is a hard thing, but that doesn’t make you a bad parent. If you are dealing with a child that is causing trouble, here are some tips that can help you.
Have One on One Time
Something that you have to do when you are dealing with a troubled child is let them know they are still loved. Spending one on one time will not only improve their behaviour but it will also make an emotional connection with them which is very important. One of the most common reasons why a child is misbehaving is because they are seeking out attention in negative ways. Try to spend at least 10 minutes a day with a child alone doing something you both love and at least once a week spend quality time together by going out for a walk, getting lunch or going to see a movie. Building a relationship with them is hard but very important.
Do Not Give Up, Be Consistent And Try Not To Overreact
Something that a lot of people do is panic and overreact when they are dealing with a troubled child. But when you are dealing with something like that, make sure that you don’t give up and be consistent with the solutions that you have come up with. It is very important that you are reacting to their negative behaviour, in the same way, every single time they do it. Never close your eyes to it and ignore it. Even though it is very hard to hide that you are furious and irritated to the maximum, make sure that you are staying calm. But make sure that you are finding healthy ways you can cope with that frustration for your own health.
Focus On Routines And Have Everyone Pitch In
In order for kids to thrive, they need to have routines and rules in their life. Even though it should feel like they are in the military, they should have strict rules and routines that they can follow. It is also of key importance that they are getting the same treatment for every family member, and there is not someone who will let them do whatever they want without any consequences. But oftentimes kids will misbehave because they don’t have any set structures in their days and they are just overwhelmed.
Encourage Your Kids To Be Problem Solvers
There’s nothing that will help a troubled kid more than understanding how to solve disagreements without physical contact. When you are constantly punishing them you’re just making things worse and causing them to act up even more. Teach them how to verbalise their disagreements, feelings and opinions and how to handle rivalry and other negative feelings that are causing them to act up. But that takes time, so if you have a teen or a pre-teen who is causing a lot of issues by acting up, always make sure that you have a professional behind your back such as family consultants as well as lawyers such as Kells Lawyers who you will be able to seek advice from.
Offer Rewards And Avoid Smacking
Where a lot of people go wrong when they are dealing with a troubled child is smacking them when they do something bad. Even though that might seem like a good choice at the time and it will help you regulate your emotions, that is not the way to deal with anything. Smacking them or even being more violent towards a child will only make things worse. They will not only be more troubling but they can also get traumatised which will cause more problems in the end. Kids who see their parents being physical and violent will be more aggressive kids themselves. Instead of that, opt for offering rewards when they don’t act up in certain situations. If you see that they are handling a certain situation well, make sure that you are letting them know that they are seen.
What you need to realise is that kids are in most cases causing issues because there has been a significant change in their life or they are dealing with something and having a difficult time. Sometimes it will be because you moved, they have a new sibling or dealing with death. No matter what it is, that behaviour should be ignored. But that also doesn’t make you a bad parent, just be patient and know that violence is never the answer, even if they are being violent.